Conscience red alert ringing wildly in my head

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The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. – Bertrand Russell

The pregnacy of my deams is still making me fat, really bad and no more productive, I’m swallowin my won lies small by small, I’m turned into a regular shape, I don’t knwo how to expres it, but in dep I’m really suffering.
I’ve lost the map of joyness and got into a dark path, when looking back to my brighter childhood, I still can see that calm kid that have have been in the crowd of spiritual confidence, no matter how the world is bad, I just can see the light beyond any winter’s night.
I have started speaking with a vulgar vocabulary at 17, a little late, I’ve drunk my first glass of wine at 18, I’ve kissed a girl no earlier than the 21, and I have experienced all the unholy stuff till that, the all prohibited pleasure were in my basket …
I don’t know if I am wrong or not, I’m just living as I want and the most harming in all this tragedy, I’ve lost many of my skills. I don’t know how would I be afetr 5 or 10 years, I wonder if I’ll be still that kid, that kid was good, innovative and energitic and it’s not a question of a lost generation, the disease is inside me, It’s my own punishement for that rubbish, and I’m not talking about drinking or something else, I’m talking about my brain damage, this one is due to life, yes our life is shitty, pragamtic and meaningless.
The contrast of all this speech is that I’m really lucky, I have a permanent job, I’m living 10 meters to the office where I work, I love my parnets and parents who are living healthy and happy, I have many stupefuant friends, I have been one of the first bloggers of Tunisia … I don’t exactly what’s wrong with me ? Perhaps I need more my mam’s love, my two last love stories have been a ko and just made me more sick.
And finally I feel happy, yes I’m happy cause that little Karim smile is too powerfull to get off for a millions of years.

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. salsabeel says:

    Hi Karim,
    The good things surrounding( persons that love us, good conditions of work,..) us help us to feel happiness, they just help us. But when we are self satisfied self made happy self convinced by our doings we’ll be happy independantly of what surrounds us. Don’t forget that all persons live looking for that well being and that happiness. No persoon will finish his search in that life ! But surely certain persons are more near to happiness than others. I want to cotinue discussion with you! would you ?

  2. Karim2k says:

    I know the lines that makes my path, I’m ok and sure of my doubts, thanks for the move, but I’m still using of my own motion.

  3. salsabeel says:

    ‘your motion’,’your doubts’, ‘your…’ votre ego est trop prononcé à un degré qu’il risque vs suffoquer. Tu es une partie d’un tt et il faudrait que l’on se positionne par rapport à ce tt sinon c’est la marge de ce tt qui ns accuiellit et à la marge il y a ….

  4. Karim2k says:

    Small things are meaningless and the dout is a mind contrusctor, I’ll sold my social delighted sun to my own darkness, I wish I could be smarter unless more classic and that’s the way I won’t take.

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